Tuesday, January 29, 2013


Loneliness just wants to be left alone.

Friday, January 04, 2013

Deep Down

Unhappiness is a well that never runs dry.

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Monday, December 31, 2012

To build

Sometimes you have to let things fall apart before you can put them back together.

Sunday, October 07, 2012

Light up the darkness

Anyway you can.

Friday, October 05, 2012

The Cinema of Norway

I was reminded again last night why I enjoy watching foreign cinema so much.
This time thank you, Norway.

The movie in question was called "Head Hunters": about a somewhat vertically challenged (5ft 6") character who works in recruitment.
Admittedly that is not the greatest synopsis ever given, nor an accurate reflection of actually how good the story and direction is. Both of which are excellent. I recommend.

The only other Norwegian movie I have seen is "Troll Hunter" also about people who are vertically challenged. And also very, very good.

What have those crazy Scandinavians got against people who are not 6 feet+?

I am going to continue the Norwegian theme this evening by watching Norway's biggest opening weekend movie: Max Manus (available on Netflix) and about the countries resistance movement during the German occupation.

I am expecting big things...

Thursday, October 04, 2012

Out of the mouths of babes - Winston Churchill

I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.  
Anh yeu em

Wednesday, October 03, 2012

9.5 Years

Since my first post.
Social Media

Well its entirely apparent to me now that social media (Facebook, Twitter et.al.) effectively put an end to people actually updating more than just what they have eaten, or just watched on TV. Come back blogging. We miss you.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

The Megavalanch

Well that's me started my biking campaign in order to get race fit for this years Megavalanch in July. It's gonna be awesome.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Where everybody knows your name...

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

How to park in Putney...

This is an Audi A3 parked on a Peugeot on Putney Bridge Road. Quite how the driver managed to do this is beyond me.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

The Design Museum

That's me right in the middle.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Me with hair...

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Celebrity Endorsement Gone To far

Ah'm no eating those.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

The Minogues

Kylie should retire.
Danni should have a full frontal lobotomy.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

The BF Christmas Party

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Ford XR6 Turbo Charger

Heres the Muscle Car we have for our month in Australia:

Monday, December 10, 2007

Thursday, November 08, 2007


Monday, November 05, 2007

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Slaughterhouse Part III - The Bonnyrigg Butcher's Back

Slaughterhouse Part II

The Halloween Slaughterhouse Fright Night

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Buh buh buh bored. Buh buh buh bored.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

London Assembly Building

London Skylight Reflection

Monday, September 17, 2007

Kermit: Mean, Lean and Green

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Hot Rocks #2
Hot Rocks

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Bouldering at the Salisbury Crags Edinburgh

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Edinburgh Vs London #1

Monday, September 10, 2007

Tube Strike

Due to the tube strike we have been getting to work in the company's stretch hummer:

Friday, August 31, 2007

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Run fat boy run

I weighed myself today, the first time in over two years and i came in at 82.9kg.

Who ate all the pies. It appears I did.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Sick Statues

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Godzilla attacks London

Monday, August 20, 2007

Craven Cottage

I was at Fulham's ground today for some work thing..... No one else there.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Rhua has had a litter of eight puppies, although the pics make them look like baby hippos or panthers:

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Fire Snake Mountain

Wednesday, August 08, 2007


Now, when i bought these on t'internet the description was Black with Silver....

Whereas they are quite clearly Silver with Black.

Still, instead of cycling home I can just click my heels together and say:
'There's no place like home.'

Sunday, July 29, 2007

The Gulag - From Hammersmith Bridge

Tuesday, July 24, 2007


My company won one of the Best Places to Work in IT Awards 2007.

Just look at the size of our tv screens.

Sunday, July 22, 2007


Tomorrow For Ever.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Head Cam Studies - 2004

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Four Years Old!


Saturday, September 30, 2006

New House

Old House

Monday, August 21, 2006

Ben Nevis Summit 4406ft
Nevis Base Camp

Friday, July 28, 2006

"Flash Gordon's Alive?!"

Ming The Merciless

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Software Testing

"Why is it broken?"
"Maybe, because we tested it."

Friday, July 21, 2006

Fahrenheit 451

If everyone has at least one book in the them, lets start the burning.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Got my new webcam running, but I'm having problems capturing live streaming data then replaying it using Real or Windows Media Player...

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Mr Pigeon,... meet Mr Air Conditioning Unit.

I had the misfortune this week to watch a pigeon fall into an air conditioning unit on the rooftop across from my office window. With an explosion of feathers in a 20ft radius when it first went in, it sounded like a large stone in a washing machine on spin cycle for about 15 minutes after.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

The Edinburgh Marathon June 10 2006

Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer?
Because it feels so good when I stop.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Happy Birthday To Me

I have just noticed that this blog has been 'going', and I use that terms very loosely, for over three years now. So happy birthday to me.

Friday, July 01, 2005

The Road To Ruin
Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours to go
I wanna be sedated
Nothing to do, no where to go-o,
I wanna be sedated

Ba-ba-baba, baba-ba-baba, I wanna be sedated
Ba-ba-baba, baba-ba-baba, I wanna be sedated
Ba-ba-baba, baba-ba-baba, I wanna be sedated
Ba-ba-baba, baba-ba-baba, I wanna be sedated

The Ramones

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

wrap your problems in dreams
and alcohol
and depression

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

You are what you do.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004



Thursday, October 07, 2004

Appy Polly Ollogies

Been redirected from my homepage? Annoyed, frustrated? Sorry but 3uan is currently down as I do some much needed technical stuff. Also known as a face left.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Well looks like its gonna be a bumper weekend.
Just got confirmation that I have managed to get two tickets for the Red Bull Rail Storm in George Square on Saturday. And we have a visiting master (Mestre Gato) from Brazil across this weekend, who helped create the Senzala group that Iam a member of. So will go to the session on Sunday.
And i have to create my new professional website. So damage limitation for Saturday night is in effect.

Friday, September 17, 2004


Its funny how I can never get up in the morning or go to sleep at night.

Thursday, September 16, 2004


Take gigantic and enormous and just like Wordsworth (remember him?? evil floating spelling cartoon character from early 1980s British educational TV prog...) build yourself a new word: ginormous. Use it in everyday conversation and people dont even blink, ie. I had a ginormous lunch today.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Long Story Short

The End.

Friday, September 10, 2004

Suits you suh!

The suits that i wear to work must be purposefully deigned to cook you during the summer and freeze you in winter.

Over the Rainbow

Weekends are like rainbows, they look good from a distance but dissappear up close.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Position Sought : Dr Who

Question ~ What do you do with a history degree and a masters in software engineering? (Apart from look pissed off.)
Answer ~ Get a job as the good doctor, write a computer program that can transport you back in time in a small, but big on the inside, blue police box. And get a robot dog. Cool.
Do Do Doooooooo, dew dew dewwwwwwww

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Lost in Music

Responsibility to me
is a tradgedy,
I'll get a job some other time...

Tuesday, September 07, 2004


After hurricane lucy arrived in embra on Saturday evenning and a crazy night to follow (gale force 10) i had a 48 hour hangover and have only started to recover now.

Monday, September 06, 2004

Quote from my Dad today

Oh what a wicked web we weave when we first set to decieve.

Friday, September 03, 2004

Lunchy Munchy

Went to the wee baked tattie shop today and it was braw. Well worth the money. Quality choice. The potato was about the size of my head.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

An Edinburgh Lunch Hour/The Festival Is Over

Just been for lunch, went looking into few record shops but couldn't find what I was looking for. Then checked out a few cafes to find somewhere decent for lunch tomorrow. One place looked good The Gourmet Burger Co. but was so expensive. 7.00 GBP for a burger and roll, no chips. 2.00 for side order of chips and three pounds odd for a milkshake. They should be wearing masks and shouting "Stand and Deliver" for prices like that. God damn Dick Turpin taxi drivin highway robbin mofos. Then went into the wee baked tattie shop round the corner and that was a total rip off. Fetsival is over, the shops should lower their prices. In the end me and Lau just sat on the steps at the tron and had a munch. The usual mix of folks was out: a bike courier (mobile organ donor) the usual office monkeys and a large contingent of scallies, sporting the typical scottish nicotine sun tan of deep yellow forearms merging into milk bottle white upper arms, smoking Regal kingsize fags and munching cheap sausage roles from Greigs the bakers. Shouting about who owes whom "seven barr" (barr is col. slang in edin for a £). Incidentally not even enough for a gourmet burger. Generally annoying me by trying to feed the pigeons then attempting to kick them when they got close or throwing juice at them But where was this underclass when the festival was on? when the 'burgh needed their services the most to harass the english high school drama groups throwing flyers out down the royal mile. Or the lame street perfromers walking about with picture frames, or the top half of a mannequins pretending to dance. Where were they then, eh? Out for lunch i bet.

Friday, August 27, 2004

Rockin in ma ain world.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

The State

Full compliance or complete non-existence.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Ba Boom

Why did the scarecrow get the Nobel Peace Price?
He was outstanding in his field.

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Never mind the G-spot, where's the mute button?

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Rebooting System

Sound detected Ringing.
Eyelids testing.
Light detected.
Remaining shut.
Reflex action.
Right arm too sound source.
Sound detected breaking glass.
Contact hand water.
Searching memory banks.
Choosing emotion annoyance.
Speech mode reduced capacity.
Reason enlarged tongue.
Searching words banks.
F***s Sake.
Ringing Detected.
Right arm too sound source.
Contact plastic finger tips.
Regulate breathing.
Lungs sigh.

Thursday, April 22, 2004

I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or you shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.

-The Wasteland (T.S. Eliot 1888-1965)
Sergio Leoni feat. Clint Eastwood VS Evelyn Waugh.....

A Hanful of Dollars, more like a Handful of Dust.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

honey moon period

and just that like, got fed up with it. not posted for pure ages. But as its coming around to my wee sites first b-day, i thought fuck it. Spend two minutes writing nothing really important, moan about something irrelevant, maybe tell a little anecdote.. who knows i might get back in the swing of things.

Saturday, January 03, 2004

happy new year

happy new year
happy new yearrrrghh

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

goddamn computers

nothing but hassle. My home computer has got an msblaster.exe worm variant virus that shuts the computer down from start up within 57 seconds leaving me absolutely no time to do anything about it. The uni computers i can use i no longer have access to as i no longer have a valid password as recently having left. thank fuck. and consigned to using outdated laptop with no net access. godamn useless computers.

Saturday, October 25, 2003

jury service

mans inhumanity towards man
deepens like a coastal shelf

Philip Larkin

Friday, September 19, 2003

pint an a nip

scotland is the only country that measures its rainfall in pints

Sunday, July 20, 2003

final countdown

only 58 hours to go then freedom will be found at the bottom of a several pint glasses. Roll on the summer,

Wednesday, June 25, 2003

dynamic recursive head fuck

Surely, brains, thunder bird two cant be aerodynamic enough to fly??
¦j(q) = Minimum {¦pj(q), ¦rj(q)
¦pj(q) = Cj,j+1 + S(k:k£q) ¦j+1(q-k)pj+1,k + S(k:k³q) [b + 2Cj+1,0 + ¦j+1(q+Q-k)]pj+1,k

¦rj(q) = Cj,0 + C0,j+1 + KS(k=1) ¦j+1(Q-k)pj+1, k

Friday, June 20, 2003


my name up in lights on the small screen, .....
clicca here, then go clicca current projects, clicca IT&software engineering....
Roughly translated as six months of hell.

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

gies a joab

Career - ones advancement through life in a profession or occupation working permanently in a specified profession. Slightly at odds with the more literal meaning, career, to lurch uncontrollably from one side, usually of the road, to another, before inevitably impacting a tree at high velocity and exploding in a ball of flames.
spam spam spam

On the day when Microsoft launched lawsuits against fifteen people/organisations responsible for all the spam email I get, I say not a moment to soon. Even my blog account has succumbed to this menance, and although I have only recieved one spam-mail on my blog account, you might laugh at its contents.....

Marina & Sabrina
La nostra prima esperienza in una Video Chat Erotica
Una nostro foto? Eccola
marina&sabrina.jpg(200027 byte)
Ci eccitiamo moltissimo in Videochat
Vuoi collegarti con noi?
Quando ti apparre l'AVVISO DI PROTEZIONE
clicca sul SI
ervizio rivolto ad un pubblico adulto - Leggere le condizioni e i costi del servizio - Vietato ai minori di 18 anni

I dont speak Spanish but it dont take a cunning linguist to work out what pubblico adulto means, comprende?
clicca clicca

Monday, June 09, 2003

hymn of the big wheel

For something to do yesterday we went to visit the Falkirk Wheel, and it was actually very impressive. Cool architecture and the theory behind how it works was interesting. It was all about Archimedes Theory of Water displacement and balance and circles and stuff. The wheel itself only takes the power of eight toasters to move the weight of 100 elephants. So, who would ever of thought that Scottish canals could be more than rat infested graveyards for shopping trolleys and paint sniffing jakeys?

Friday, June 06, 2003

No Comment

The lights are one but no-ones home.

Thursday, June 05, 2003

Twenty Five

Shoot me now.

Wednesday, June 04, 2003

Fossil Fuel

The greatest wasted natural resource is potential.

Monday, June 02, 2003


Today I have been distracted from writing up my dissertation by playing Mahjongg Towers and listenning to DMXs 'x gonna give it to ya' downloaded from i-mesh.
a truly stunning lack of originality

Just finished watching Quentin Tarantino's Reservoir Dogs, which I used to think was a highly original film. Untill recently, that is, when I happened to watch City On Fire (Chow Yun Fat). City On Fire, is the film that Tarantino based Reservoir Dogs on. I use the phrase 'based on' far too lightly. More accurate would be 'plagurised.' Although blatant rip off is more than applicable. The story is in essence exactly the same, main characters similar, ending identical. The only real difference is the soundtrack, plot structure, and the cut off ear bit and the cafe scene at the start. No where on the titles does QT acknowledge the original film, infact it clearly states; written and directed by... himself. Now I remember when it was released, 1995, because my mate Chris had a massive cool poster, Lets Go To Work, and I was bought the screen play as a present. Even used to listen to a copy of the soundtrack. So for eight years I was under the impression that it was original, but its nothing more than a recycled idea.

Sunday, June 01, 2003

Round Two

I watched the Harrison vs Ellis boxing match last night after finishing work. What was more interesting, and slightly worrying was the boxing that was going on at ringside, after and this is no joke, Herbie Hide apparently punched a woman in the face. I have to say that the BBC's coverage of the event was quality entertainment and included Audley Harrison after knocking down Ellis after one minute thirty of the rsecond round taking the microphone and asking the audience if they wanted to see him fight, Frank Bruno, sitting at ringside and retired for seven years. What followed after was lots of squaring up as audley became ringmaster of the "audley harrison show" before a more general brawl broke out at ringside as chairs and tables were thrown. The ugly face of boxing reared its head and detracted from what was otherwise a good fight. So cheers Don king for that one.

Friday, May 30, 2003

Time Is Precious

I had a meeting with my project supervisor today at 2.00pm. And guess what? He failed to show. Now we have been meeting at the same time and on the same day for a month now. So its not likely that he forgot. Instead he was probably too busy sitting doing nothing somewhere else. So I have had a twelve mile round trip, 15 minutes trying to get a parking space, got caught in the rain after I eventualy did park the car and walked fifteen minutes to school, then across campus and up two flights of stairs to Ben's office, and the ****** wasn't in. No email or anything to say that he wasn't going to show. And I have now wasted a full hour writing a particularly bitchy email to the fuzzy haired freak and posting this.

Thursday, May 29, 2003

Fools Gold

Going out tomorrow night to see a Stone Roses tribute band. Looking forward to it despite the fact that they are a tribute band, and I have my doubts about said 'tribute bands.' But, it will be a good excuse to go out on the lash. And hopefully the music will be cracking.

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

Six Feet High And Rising

Vital Statistics...
Weight: 11st 0lb - 69.8kg
Height: 6' 0" - 1.82m
B.M.I: 20 (weight/(kg)/height(m)2)

Monday, May 26, 2003

Fatal Exception - Infinite Loop

Trying to break infinite loops is definetely a pre-midnight activity.
the devils in the details

Exception in thread "main" java.lang.NullPointerException:
at gA.solution.computeExpectedCost(Solution:java:141)
at gA.application.main(Application.java:26)

Answers on a postcard please.

Sunday, May 25, 2003

Some People

Some people need a good hard smack on the mouth.

Saturday, May 24, 2003

Guest Post

This one is from one of my friends, so all credit, and spelling, goes to "joe mangle"....

My favorite character in neighbours is without doubt the man Darcy. after waking up from the disappointment of my beloved celtic loosing out by a baw hair to the potugese freaks, i tuned into the miday soap.
this cheered me up:
toddy and darcy are discussing dee on the sofa
toddy:"Me and Dee had a bit of a barney."
"The whole of Lasiters cld hear."
Darcy: "Yehh, she can be pretty vocal when aroused."

well it made me piss myself, its just the way he comes across as a slightly foolish, dased doctor boy but he puts a lot of thought into his cheeky lines. genius!!!
please identify some more, its just luck i had a pen to write it down cos the short term momory loss usually get the better of me.

Thursday, May 22, 2003


I have a spider that lives in the passenger's side wing mirror of my new car. Every morning there is a new web constructed between the car door and the window. I have decided to name the spider: 'paul ince,' as in an incyie. Now paul-ince is persistent, because everyday I destroy his web, and he clings on when I drive a ton down the bypass and even sticking the hose in the wing mirror doesn't seem to shift him. The wee bugger.

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

Your Comments

After checking my mail box for my blog I was somewhat amazed to find four emails from randoms that had found my site. It was a strange feeling, realizing that people i had not shown the site to had actually read its contents. So this post is just a wee summary of there contents. Comments ranged from the good:
Cool blog! I followed the most recently updated link from blogger.com because
the name sounded interesting, and it didn't disappoint. :)

To the giddy heights of:
your blogger site is mildly interesting, but you really should learn how to spell.
It would definitely aid in your communication skills. Seriously.
Cheers, restless.

And I stand corrected as apparently..........
I believe EC Brewer said it first. ( With reference to Friday 16th)
And the meaning of life is:
it's 42 come on get it right or the dolphins will come to get u

Monday, May 19, 2003


At first when my mate gav sent me this address, I thought its so bad that it has to be a joke. I was sure it was a well crafted piss-take of the highest order. But no, sadly not. A quick look at the photos of the troopz and troopetz is realization that this is indeed very very real. I suggest you take at least five minutes to have a browse.
Central Belt

Went out for the day yesterday, and drove to Stirling, where we walked round the Castle then climbed the Wallace Monument. Then motored to Loch Lomond for a walk along the shore then home to Edinburgh via Glasgow. Class.
Mad Max

You crazshy danish bashtard.

Saturday, May 17, 2003

Tick Tock

One thing that you can be sure of in life, is that time passes.

Friday, May 16, 2003


Vrrrrrrrrrrmmmm Vrrrmmmmmm Vrm
I have a new car and Iam about to drive it for the first time. Vrrrrmmm
Tongue Tied

Today, at the tender age of 24 and 3/4 I learned how to tie a tie. Who said you cant teach an old dog new tricks.
The Blind Beggar

Quality name. Quality establishment. Quality local.
Corrigan took us to perhaps a new breed of 'urban bar', Edinburgh's only biker pub- The Blind Beggar. Complete with; ten bikes outside, two inches of dust everywhere, broken glass on the window sills, Isle of Man TT posters on the walls and assorted pieces of perfectly polished random bike parts aimlessly scattered about. In addition a mock zimmer frame type contraption in the toilet constructed of half a moped, L plates, stabilizers and zimmer frame. And the jukebox, doesn't even need mentioned. Iam sure all the locals took kindly to us especially when Redpath put on a guiness hat, that he found, and started loudly slagging the place off. Good pintage though. And they sold Niall a carryout after hours.

Thursday, May 15, 2003

My Brain Hurts

I think I think I think to much.

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

3.14 - Message To Self

Hmm, Iam beginning to wonder what's the point of my web blog. Its original conception was, and I suppose penultimately still is, to publish my abstracted, distracted and lucid thoughts. But I am increasingly finding myself asking Why? Why bother? From having looked at a whole varietable cornocopia of other peoples sites and witnessed the mundane shite, terrible poems and utter banal banter that said people have chosen to express, to me seems to beggar belief. What I find most tiresome is "dilemas", you know the sort, such as "ohhhh mi god ohh me god i talked to someone else today, and it wasn't on msn", or : "i like x, but z, and y and j said...." Or commets about the weather. Iam fully aware of the "If you dont like it here go fuck yourself" attitude. And fair enough. You play your own tune. However, Iam still left contemplating the point. But then is there a point? This gets me thinking of the Python's 'The Meaning Of Life' and 'The HitchHikers Guide to the Galaxy', neither of which I have seen recently, or in fact in there entirety, but Iam sure both some up the meaning of life as a number, 32 or 34, or is it 62. It matters not. If the meaning of life it 32 then I dont get it. Maybe, the meaning of life is not entirely clear even if you look at it from a different perspective. Which makes sense. Now, Pi, (3.14345 whatever), the film by the guy who also did 'Requiem For A Dream', is essentially about a scientest/mathematiciam who finds the number that represenst the pattern of life, 3.14. Now, we have a number that not only represents the meaning of life but is also the pattern that causes its apparent generation. And the scientist guy who discovers this number equation, and suffers from headaches, reminds himself of his thoughts by writing messages to himself in the form [time, "Message to self..."]
I suppose then that my posting are messages to myself to remind me what I had thought on that day.
Oh, and by the way, go fuck yourself.

And all the girls said...

he's pretty fly for a white guy.

Monday, May 12, 2003

Haw Hee

HawHee HawHee HawHee HawHee HawHee

Master of Arts
Mater of Science
Master of None
Masters of the Universe

Suicide is painless.

I used to think that I was going to set the world on fire. Now it seems to take all my effort just to stay alight.

Sunday, May 11, 2003

Hail To The King Baby

Heres tae us, Wha's like us,
Damn few, an they're a' deid

Iam currently reading 'How the Scots Invented the Modern World', by Arthur Herman.
"The true story of how Western Europe's poorest nation created our world and everything in it." Funnily enough, written by an American, and not all together subjective, but interesting none-the-less.

Not content with bastardising (sic. bastardizing) our language Americans have also taken it upon themselves to rearrange the date, from DD/MM/YY format to MM/DD/YY. I find this particularly annoying as my birthday is 5/6/78. Not 6/5/78.
People Watching

A whole new dimension to people watching.

Saturday, May 10, 2003


Crushing CD boxes like cars.
Accidents Happen. Unless your clumsy and then they dont so much happen as occur with great regularity and alarming frequency.
Tight Chest

Slang: a feeling, quite common at weekends, of mild embaresment and shame at the antics of the proceeding night.
Usage: as in:
You were in some state last night!
Suffering from tightchest this morning?

Friday, May 09, 2003

Pop Music

Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, Justin Timberlake, Lisa Scott Lee...... and the like.
It is always the latest song
that an audience applauds the most.

Homer, Odyssey

Or otherwise known in the proactive words of todays business men/women as:
The Product Life Cycle.
Monkey Mafia

Women are like the Mafia; strong, independent and highly organised.

Thursday, May 08, 2003

I dont need no education

Education is not worth the paper its printed on.

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

Java Flava

If I drink any more coffee I think I will drown.

Saturday, May 03, 2003

Its Official

I have the most boring, mind numbing, spirit crushing, soul destroying, immagination wrecking, will sapping means of gainfull employment. I wellcome you to the exciting world of .... lifeguarding.

I just had a wee read of my previous two entries and have noticed that they both contain the word cohorts. Which brings my site total of cohorts to four. Oh well its not been a very exciting day.

Thursday, May 01, 2003

May Day Elections

Just got back from the polling station and have checked my choices for the local council, region and Scottish Parliamentary elections. Iam quite tempted to say who I voted for, but I wont. Needless to say that I did not vote for either of the two main parties who advocated the recent war. Jack McConnel and his Labour cohorts supported Bush and Blair's war unerringly and believed the war justifiable when only a few dozen pulled down a statue. Many belived that it was "not the Scottish paliamnets duty to discuss Iraq" (Rhona Brandkin - Conservative)and that we should leave it to Westminster. So withhold your vote from the parties that supported war.
-Dont Vote Conservative.
-Dont Vote Labour.

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

Hell Hath No Fury....

like Helen Mirren scorned. Watched The Cook The Thief His Wife and Her Lover on video, given to me by one of my friends. Abit of a shocker to say the least. To do it some justice heres the bit from the back:

"The thief, Michael Gambon is a London gangleader, who, every night takes his brow beaten wife, Helen Mirren, and his low life cohorts to eat in the same sumptous restaurant run be the cook, Richard Bohringer. One evenning Miss Mirren catches the eye of a fellow diner (the lover) Alan Howard, and immediately gripped by mutual passion, before you know it they are recklessly entwined in the ladies loo. From then on similar illicit coupling takes place every night, not only in the loo, but also in variuos parts of the kitchen where the lovers are tolerantly observed by Monsieur Bohringer who loathes and despises the cockolded husband. Inevitably, Mr Gambon discovers what is going on and plans an appaling revenge, which, in turn, leads to even more dreadfull counter revenge."

Sex, Murder, Cannibalism and high fashion... its all three and more.
Steve Grant-Time Out
Shaun Usher- Daily Mail
Many people will be profoundly offended by this film... the most startling depiction of cruelty and sadism for many years.
John Mount- Empire
....a virtouso performance by Michael Gambon as one of the most monstrous villains the cinema has ever created. His sadism and cruelty are boundless. No violence, physical or verbal, is to foul for him to perpetrate. You watch the film open mouthed.
Barry Norman-Film '89

Revenge in this case is a dish best served hot.

Tuesday, April 29, 2003


1 an offensive word or phrase substituted for one considered to be less offensive or hurtful, especially one concerned with religion, sex, death, or excreta.
Examples of euphemisms are: sleep with for have sexual intercourse with; departed for dead; relieve oneself for urinate.
2 the use of such inoffensive words or phrases.
-euphemistic adj

euphemise - to speak in euphemisms or refer to be use of a euphemism
-euphemiser noun

Monday, April 28, 2003

Still Game

Classic comedy from the makers of Chewin The Fat......

"You cannae judge a book by its cover."
"Unless its a scuddy mag."
"Aye, good old scuddy mags."

Sunday, April 27, 2003

Scottish Blogs

Scottish Blogs

To mark the first month anniversary of my web log I have joined two blog type directory listings; Scottish Blogs and Globe of Blogs. This is mainly to increase the traffic to my website from three (me, my girlfriend and my brother) to four (the three allready mentioned and yourself).

The harshest critic you will ever have to face is yourself.
Although yer mates can dig the boot in aswell. Hee Hee.

Saturday, April 26, 2003

Dead Quiet

From having spent seven years studying in various libraries I have drawn the morbid conclusion that said premises are somewhat reminiscent of cemeteries. If every book in a library represents a person then you have a remarkably large collection of lives. And the larger and older the library, GULIS for example is twelve/thirteen stories, the more lives are represented. Now, it is also probable that more books have been written outwith your life time, therefore those books represented people that have allready lived and died. If every book in a library represents a dead person then you are surrounded by many corpses. Both libraries and cemeteries are places that share certain characteristics: both are devoid of laughter and hilarity, people are often subdued and in thought. Both are very quiet sombre places. Grave diggers and librarians even share similar jobs, both are occupied with the storage of the sum of peoples lives. Tombstone inscriptions and book titles, persons name, date, epitath: author, titles, synopsis... Books even used to be called tombes.
Convinced yet?
Iam the Boss

Iam the Boss
Iam the Boss
Iam the Boss
Iam the Boss
Iam the Boss

And thats a fact. Check the internet.

Friday, April 25, 2003

Obliterate Those Food Particles

Since being given a New York Smoothie maker for my Christmas (you know who you are) I have spent numerous early mornings trying out different combinations trying to find the perfect smoothie. Untill this morning that is.

Simple Smoothie
One banana
Handful of Strawberrys
Half Tea spoon of honey
Pint Of cold milk
Put in your blender and destroy........

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

Eccose Noveau Cuisine

On the hot plate at the local chippie last night surrounded by reformed king ribs and deep fried pizzas sat three proud examples of new Scottish scran. Sticking out the first one was small illuminous star of orange grease soaked paper scrawled in ink advertising 'DEEP FRIED BAKED TATTIE ONLY 50p.'
I allmost bought all three there and then to go wi ma six pickles.
New Template

Due to a problem with the paradexicimal horizontal atrium that was causing internet fluxtations in the GMC flux capacitator my wee site has been improved with a face lift. Its not much but its home to my grey matter.
Easter Weekend

Well that was Easter, back to the grind stone today. Me and Laura sat up with Nicky last night and had pizza and fish and chips and laughed at the stripette for being so hungover. Ha Ha. So bad that we even bought her grapes in the afternoon. Watched Leon, good film, then The Phantom, very bad film. So bad infact that it gets a mention here. Dear, oh dear Billy Zane and Catherine Zeta Jones, what were you thinking. A laughably shoddy script, a barely plausable plot concerning four skulls of mystical powers and Billy Zane in a purple suit. Sheer Quality Entertainment. Some what comparable to Daredevil, perhaps one of the worst films I have had the missfortune to have seen at the cinema. Although Gangs of New York was perhaps worse.
Now, back to work. Back to reality.

Monday, April 21, 2003

Me and Ron

You know that Kevin Bacon thing when you can link anyone in any film to Kevin Bacon in five moves. Well, hows this for an obscure link to some seriously dodgy person. My brothers mates girlfriend is pictured here with ron jeremy, world infamous porn star.....
Hows that for a five degrees of separation claim to fame.

Sunday, April 20, 2003

Three Shandys Barman

I have been studying all day and its now time to clean my linen and grab some women. Were away out for a few beers in town, hmmmm stella artois.
Decide Now!

Should you stop making decisions if every decision you have made so far has proved to be wrong?

Thursday, April 17, 2003

Raging Bike

Went out on my mountain bike last night for a bit of down hill off road action. Cycled up one of the Pentland hills just outside Edinburgh, about one hour and fiftteen minutes up and twenty minutes for the return down hill journey. I might have to go and buy a helmet as I nearly fell off doing about 30 kph as I somehow managed to kick the chain off when pedalling. And nearly squashed a small Yorkshire Terrier.

Raging Bike Vs Glentress?

Wednesday, April 16, 2003

Fatal Exception

To err is human, to realy fuck up try programming.

Small Word, Big Possibilities


Tuesday, April 15, 2003


You can write adopt and adoption. You get adapt, adapted, adaptive. Yet you mis-spell adaption. Its adaptation.
Where's the sense in that?

Brixton Population Menaced By Sudden Scottish Invasion

What a mad weekend. Out on the lash as soon as we met the troops on Friday night in a pub called the Living Room in Brixton. Somewhat reminiscent of the days spent in the similarly named establishment on Byres Road in Glasgow. Large amounts of buckfast consumed post pub on what murray had foreseen as "a quite night in." Spent the next day hungover in Brixton, watched half the Newcastle United game before giving up and heading back to the flat for a bbq. Massive house party on on saturday night with all and sundry present. Sunday went to Camden Market and then went drinking in Soho at night. Boss George from work ran the London Marathon in 3 hours 36 minutes. Monday went on the London Eye, it was good, maybe not as good as I had expected but cool none-the-less. Sightseeing around Westminster/Leicester Square. Shopping in Covent Garden, where Ally spent loads of money in the Carhart Shop. And I spent a small fortune shopping for clothes in Bond Street and Regents Street before dinner on Oxford Street. All in all a class weekend.
The baylifs will be round tomorrow though to reposses all my furniture as I wiped out the contents of my bank balance.

Friday, April 11, 2003

Scottish Forces Amass South of Border

Flying down to London this weekend as three of my friends celebrate their joint twenty fifth birthdays in Brixton. Its going to be fun, hee hee. So happy birthday Colin, Murray and Lucy. This will have to do cos you aint gettin no card. I have always wanted to go on the London Eye, so will try to fit that into the weekend between hangovers. Watched a program about the the building of the wheel on the river Thames. They constructed the whole wheel on its side in the middle of the river on platforms and barges then hoisted the entire thing upright and into place in one afternoon. Pretty impressive.

Thursday, April 10, 2003

Massive Attack

I went to see Massive Attack last night at the new Carling Academy in Glasgow. Apart from some initial trouble with the bouncers on the way in concerning my personal mini disc player, it was an amazing night. My ears are still ringing. The back of the stage was a 20 x 40 foot screen, somewhat similar to the kind you get in train stations but more digital. The visualizations on the screen were quality, it started like the film The Matrix where numbers scroll up the screen, binary and ASCII code and the like, then patterns started to form from the data. It was really simple but effective as hell. Massive Attack were out in force and there new album 100th window definetely needs to be bought. Sinead O'Connor guested on two or three of the tracks (to the crowd chanting "Sinead on the stage" (better in a west coast drawl)), as did Tricky. Two encores later and it was one of the best gigs i havce been to recently. Even caught the last tube home before the drive from glesgae tae embra.
Fell into the same trap today as yesterday when i went for a coffee, those tea ladies must think iam ancient.

Wednesday, April 09, 2003

One Foot in the Grave

Went for a mid-morning cup of industrial strength coffee today to keep me awake when studying, and to get out of the library. The wee tea lady women at the counter asked me if i was "Staff or student?" Must be getting old if I no longer look like everyone else here. The worst thing though, was that I indignantly replied "student". Only to be charged full price for my cuppa.

Saturday, April 05, 2003

The Power Of Blogger

Imagine your thought is somewhat similar to a rugby ball, blogger sort of allows you to convert this ball into the stadium. Blogger sort of allows you to publish an idea and make that accessible to millions, you could potentially have a bigger circulation than most newspapers. Think of all those people reading your thoughts,whole cities, entire countries, populations..... Or in my case just the one.